Sunday, March 25, 2007

Drive by Gnoming

Holly and her daughter Orion came up for a visit this weekend. There was much shopping, driving and eating. Not necessarily in that order.
We went to the Sewing fest out in Abbotsford which, unfortunately, was very sad. There used to be a mix of booths, sort of half sewing and half crafts. Now it's pretty exclusively sewing. Which is great if you sew, but not so much for the likes of us who do other stuff. It was a little disappointing, but I did manage to get a great deal on a couple of Aussie stumpwork bug books. Even the monkey likes looking at the pics in them.
We decided to pick up assorted coffee influenced beverages at the great coffee corporation on our way home and were treated to this:
Disembodied voice: Welcome to Giant Coffee Corp! Can I take your order?
Holly: Uh yeah, two tall, unsweetened, green tea lemonades...
DV: Two grande sweetened-
H: No, tall, unsweetened
DV: Oh! Extra sweetener-
H: NO, unsweetened!
DV: Okay, two tall, unsweetened green tea lattes-
H: No. Two. Tall. Unsweetened. Green. Tea. Lemonades.
DV: Got it! Two tall, unsweetened, green tea lemonades. Is that all?
H: Nope. One tall mocha frappe light with coconut syrup...
DV: The frappes are iced.
H: I know, I said light.
DV: Okay, with ice.
H: Light!
DV: Iced.
Holly: Light. L. I. G. H. T. Light
DV: Oh! Light! So a grande mocha frappe light...
Holly: Tall. With coconut syrup and a tall java chip frappe.
It went on a little longer and screwier from here but you get the idea. Funny, but kinda not.
They went to dim sum this morning with Angela and her guy, but we begged off. We missed the dim sum so we could put 20 garden gnomes on Angela's front lawn. It was the only way we could do it while she wasn't home and still have Holly get to see it. Of course, I'm a twit and forgot the damn camera. So you'll have to hope Ang or Holly post pics. It was truly weird and her neighbor must think we're nuts. This poor guy was out gardening when we pull up, unwrap almost two dozen garden gnomes and place them around the front yard.
Definitely a drive by gnoming.

I have been unable to get motivated to do anything I really should be doing for a while now. Maybe it's sleep deprivation. I don't know, but it's making me crabby. Feels like I've got all this stuff to do and all these deadlines, and I just don't do it. WTF?!
I've decided to start a pattern book. I'm sick to death of all the "knit it this weekend!" crap out there and want to do something challenging and wearable. There's a certain designer out there who needs someone to slap her and let her know that a 36" bust is NOT a large. No more waify little models, who obviously haven't knit a stitch, wearing knitted skirts on cliffsides with their hair blowing in the breeze. I wanna see knitters. Knitters of all shapes, sizes and ages, doing things that knitters do, perhaps even, god forbid, KNITTING! No more sandwich deprived 15 year olds pinned into garments that some brain trust decided we'd make even though they're only showing the effing collar. (That one's for you Kerry)
The problem is, how challenging can I make it without alienating everyone? It keeps me up at night. I don't want to hold anyone's hand, be a grown-up people. Read the instructions. But will people actually read the instructions? This is going to take me a while to figure out. And I haven't even got to all the legal end stuff and printing and test-knitting and and and and
Crap. Hyperventilated a bit there.
So bear with me. Today I give you a picture of plain socks. It's all I've been capable of lately. Sorry.


vanessa said...

drive by gnoming, love it!

K. said...

The book idea is great! I totally agree about not wanting to make a sweater after just seeing a tidbit of it in a nanosized picture...

Anthea said...

Write the book, write the book now!!!

kimber said...

I saw the pictures of the gnomes! I freakin' love it!!!!!

And write the book. Just start with notes and patterns all for yourself. The legal stuff can be worked out as you go. Just do it.

Denise said...

Sadly, I know all too well that a 36" bust is not a large bust. ::sigh::

You've hit on a pet peeve with the remark about the pictures. Knitting books with 'art' photos drive me batty. The Interweave scarf book is a prime example. Only 1/3 of each photo wasn't blurred out, usually the portion of the photo containing the models face (very helpful). Somehow between the idea 'let's create a scarf book' and the actual printing of the book someone lost sight of the actual purpose of the book. okay, deep cleansing breaths...

Loved the drive by gnoming! I'd love to know what the neighbors were thinking when you did it. I think if the neighbors are wondering you're just not trying hard enough!

And definitely you should do the book. You have wonderful, inspiring designs that deserve to be published. Remember you can't design or write for everyone. You'll have to decide which target audience you're writing for and write to that. In the end, probably most people will read the directions directions but there will always be some that don't.

sorry for the novella...

Melanie said...

If the words "hip" or "quick" are not in evidence and there's no fun fur on the cover, you may reach knitters who will read the instructions. It's way, way overdue - do the book.

Nice socks!