Friday, May 26, 2006

Dear Ingmar

Dear Ingmar from Ikea,
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your hairy parts. I have just spent three hours wrestling with what will forever be known as, "the furniture that ate my bedroom". I realize that I'm partially to blame. We measured everything in the store, but we neglected to take into account the fact that things in large warehouses are larger than they appear. Much larger. Perhaps signs to this effect in the store would be helpful for hapless consumers? But that would likely ruin your fun. I can hear you laughing at me all the way from your hillside chalet in Sweden. The chalet that does not contain any furniture that you had to put together yourself. And WTF? MDF? Shouldn't that be MDL? Medium density lead? I'm no weakling, but wrangling this stuff makes me feel like a puny little girl. I guess I should have realized that the offer of having it installed was really a very strong suggestion and the couple hundred bucks it would have cost would have saved much more than that at the chiroprator. Silly me.
In closing, I'm coming for you. Be afraid. As soon as my back heals, you're in for a world of hurt my evil swedish friend.
Sincerely,
Your impending doom.

6 comments:

Angela said...

Oh Ingmar, the delight you spread through out the world with your friends Lack and Poang.

Kerry said...

When my mom moved back my sisters thought her entire place should be furnished with Ikea build-it-yourselfs. Not me, we'd still be putting stuff together!

It's really nice once it's done, though. Someday you might not regret this.

Denise (from Madrona) said...

I especially like the way the metric-spaced hardware doesn't quite line up with our non-metric spaced wall studs. My husband especially enjoyed that part - I think they are partially held on by swear words at this point.(hee,hee,hee)

Denise (again) said...

doh ::head slap::
I meant to include the word 'shelves' in there somewhere. As in, "we were hanging the shelves on the wall and the metric-spaced hardware"...
must be time for some more coffee.

Melanie said...

Oy! I'm glad I'm not Ingmar!

Melissa said...

My sister and I call this Warehouse Syndrome! Everything looks so nice and normal sized at the store, get home and it's enormous!!! Happened with my refrigerator. Acutally had to cut the cabinet to get it into the spot.